Saturday, February 21, 2009

What the world is interested in...

The other day, while searching for a "how to" on something, I became amused with the autosuggestions I got after typing in the "how to" into the search input editor.

Assuming the results there are sorted by the interest from the users (which is something pretty obvious to do), this is the apparent hit parade of the things
that the people are wondering about:

1. how to tie a tie

Ha. I wonder whether this stems from the fact that the people don't really wear a tie every day, so this knowledge gets into the dark corners of the forgotten, or the science of tying the tie is as complicated as actually spelling it. I've last had to use this search maybe half a year ago when I in fact needed to wear the tie to some place. The caching is a good optimization here - tie the tie once, and keep it tied. Saves a lot of time.

2. how to kiss

Something is wrong. This one was supposed to land on the first position IMO - as the potential audience for the ties is at most is half as big as the potential audience for the kisses. So, I can conclude that the sets are actually very much intersecting and it's the same folks who don't know how to tie a tie. Others either already know it or are practicing it off-line. Indeed, practice is the key here. Instead of optimizing, just brute-force it. The process is fun.

3. how to get pregnant

Now the mystery of the bias for the previous one is probably starting to dissolve - that second half is actually not wasting the time on paying too much attention to the preamble, and is much more result driven. I'd think that here the practice is also a key. Also, there's something about the days of the month and such. But with sufficient practice the distribution is going to be across all the days of the month, so it should not be that important.

4. how to make money

assuming your looks are ok - after all, the tie is an important part of it! - indeed, money might be of use sometimes. I think it's a simple economics - find the area with most demand that is unsatisfied, and provide a supply there. Even better - create the demand out of thin air - that's how you make new markets. The most creative and spectacular that readily comes up, is the one million pixel page. In a nutshell - create 1000x1000 image, and start selling it in blocks of 10x10. Hundred bucks each. I am in awe.

5. how to lose weight

I won't comment much on this one - it's outside of my experience. Although, a full long weekend of dedicated nonstop gaming with not much food inbetween gets quite a few kilos off. I accidentally tried that once - the result was pretty funny (needless to say I was dead tired after that). But I think that's not something anyone should follow - talk to your doctor, or something. Eat lighter food, do sports, and such.

6. how to draw

I wonder if this is about drawing as in a form of art or it about making sure that no-one wins. My best advise - find an artist nearby who is willing to bear with you, and use the results from the (4) above to pay for the lessons. Practice makes miracles. But it aint going to be easy, if you want to get decent that is.
My wife's an artist and she literally spent years doing that thing. (oh, if you wanna get lessons, maybe I can ask, drop me a note :)

7. how to make a website

Hire a professional.

8. how to cook a turkey

Ah, this is a much more appropriate one. Though, no opinion here - I'm in europe and prefer chicken anyway. Or beef, for that matter.

9. how to write a resume

I'd do it in a couple of steps: first achieve a bunch of great things. Then write them down. Though, it's not a quick process. But should surely work.

10. how to lose friends and alienate people

Oh, that's easy - just write something outright silly like I did in this post, and it might work. Or go watch the film and learn from there.

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